Dr. Oz Says Our Country Got Obese Because WE GAVE UP BREAD?

You want some bread?

Do you ever watch that dr. Oz guy? I’ve been binge watching his episodes for the last couple days like over a thousand and you know I’ve got to say I’ve never felt healthier. 

That guy is so smart. He knows his stuff and finally I can eat an entire loaf of bread without any guilt and that’s what I’ve always wanted to do. 

I need to tell Oprah about this, she’ll be so excited. 

You know, I’ve been on this bread diet for about a week now and since dr. Oz says it’s healthier, I definitely feel skinnier. 

I don’t pay attention to the other nutrients. Whole wheat, enriched wheat, white wheat, who cares? 

Wait. What are carbs and fat?

Well hey, as long as I’m getting enough protein from my bread that makes me strong. Yeah, he put it in some orange juice and so I know it’s alright. I put a Snicker bar in orange juice one time too and it just floated there. So, that means it’s good for you too.

He did say that a lot of doctors in the US pretty much say we should eat more bread and Who am I to question all the doctors in one of the most obese nations in the world? I should probably tell these two doctors that they were wrong.

All the spread gives me so much energy though I really don’t feel sluggish at all after eating an entire loaf of bread. I’m sure I’ve been doing that every day for the last week and I’m only gained five and a half pounds I bet it’s all muscle.

Also, my bathroom has been quite the spectacle lately, probably from all the fibre. 

Gluten intolerant? What’s gluten? Is that one of those fancy teas those Instagram models are promoting?

No, I don’t need your fancy science lingo that’s why I watch Dr. Oz. His claims aren’t usually backed by science so I understand it easier.

I also love Washing it down with soda. I know sodas are not good for you but since I am eating so much of this healthy bread, I kind of figure they just like offse themselves. 

Diabetes and heart issues? Well, I’ve already got those so I’m not worried about it plus this bread makes it me healthier and that’s a good thing.

My doctor said I’ve already cut off about 20 years of my life, so who wants to get old anyway? Am I right? 

Wait. Are pop-tarts bad for you too? They’re sort of like bread.

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